Questions

 

You may have questions...."why the heck am I reading this??" "Is this relevant to my life or any life for that matter?"  "What is with that first picture on the first post?"  and probably more.  

The first picture chosen for the first post is an insight in to my rebellion to the conventional life I had.  A life I thought I wanted.  It is two fold in that it is a direct rebellion against my mom (whom I love dearly BTW but I have spent WAY to much of my life trying to please her, or at least not have to hear her disappointment at anything I have done in my life) and rebellion against the notions of what my husband thinks of as a proper Christian wife and mom. HONESTLY, is it actually rebellion when you are 52 years old and what you are doing isn't against the law? Probably not. 

I lived in a very proper household (Catholic) growing up.  There are things we didn't do and I've always been the child/adult who toed the line.  Trust me, my brother is NOT a bad guy by any stretch but he most certainly was more likely to push the boundaries than I was.  I was such a goodie two shoes that for YEARS, even as adults he believed that I was a straight A student (haha - I wasn't, Straight C yes, A  - nope!) When I told him that when we were in our 30's/40s he didn't believe me until I produced my high school transcripts to prove it to him.  There were just things we didn't do....and getting a tattoo was one of them.  I wanted one (or more) back in college but was living at home still and couldn't really settle on what I wanted to get.  So I waited and dreamed and hoped someday I'd be brave enough to go for it someday. Then I went and married a man who not only is fundamentalist Christian but could be labelled as Legalistic. Yeah, not really sure if the tattoo was worth the fight but eventually, I wanted the tattoo....

But first, I thought I'd test the waters by getting a nose ring.  Yeah, that flew like a fart in an elevator. My mom met me at the door with "Please tell me that isn't real."  UM, it is so I cannot tell you that.  OOOh, the judgement in my husbands eyes. I wanted it, I paid for it and I got it.  It's not going away. I still have it and I still like it. 

And then I went with my 18 yo daughter and got the tattoo after my dad passed away.  I knew what I wanted and I decided to get one in remembrance of my Horticulturist dad who passed away almost 2 years ago. IF I thought the nose ring was met with disapproval the tattoo was worse.  I stand here unapologetic for getting the tattoo.  I love it, I am reminded of my dad and other's comment what a beautiful tattoo it is.  It is here to say and I am not changing my mind.  I want more. Just probably not any time soon. 

This is where I take a stand about me being me.  I like where I am now and was tired of kowtowing to everyone else and their ideas of who I should be.  If I want artwork on my body and a tiny bit of bling in my nose, I can do it because I'm 52. I should have done it a LOOOOONG time ago. 

DeannaRae